Naruto: The Abyssal Defender
by DarthRuneis
Summary: How Naruto should have gone, in my opinion. Starting with an early introduction to Kyuubi, Naruto gains a strange new power for his self defense. Calm! Naruto, Kinda nice! Kyuubi, Smart-ish ! Naruto; pairings undecided, likely Naruharem, lemons later
1. Prologue

Alright, here it is. My own rewrite of the entirety of Naruto. I will not be dealing with the filler arcs, but I may use filler characters later on, with alternate explanations for their involvement if needed. I welcome all reviews, but please limit flaming to constructive criticism. I would also like to know what pairings people would like to see, but, there is a catch: I do not do pairings other than Narutoxgirl(s). So keep that in mind. And to Anko lovers, if you want her to be with Naruto or something, fine, but she won't be a masochist or anything.

Alright, with that said, let's- Oh crap, disclaimer:

I do NOT own ANYTHING related to Naruto. I only own this plot (in my head), and any characters I may create out of thin air. Thank you, no lawsuits please.

Okay, NOW lets start the story.

* * *

**October 10****th**, around 4 a.m.

A small boy ran through the dark streets of the morning. His tattered orange shirt fluttered in the rushing wind as pieces steadily ripped off and flew off into the black abyss. The boy rounded a corner into an even more dimly lit street than the last, and took shelter behind a dumpster. He saw a large mob of angered villagers pour past him in the street, until one of the torches shone in such a way that one of the mob's members noticed the boy. The six year old trembled as the mob surrounded him, and began another of the beatings that the boy didn't understand. "_Why… What did I do to them? Why do they call me a monster..? What am I?_"

The boy never did get any answers, even from the few people who didn't try to kill him on a weekly basis. This night, however, would be vastly different. Tonight, he would meet the reason behind his torment. And tonight, he would never be the same again.

The beating continued on ruthlessly, torches burning his flesh, punches breaking his bones, sharp, pointy objects cutting his skin, causing him to bleed. He lived through it all, never able to pass into the false bliss that was unconsciousness. That is, until he felt a presence in his mind. He felt a sinister evil pull him out of consciousness, but not quite the way he desired. His mind spiraled as it was pulled into itself and given being.

The boy found his vision once again, and found himself in a strange sewer. He noticed ripples all along the water, coming from a corridor up just a small ways, and to his left. He decided to investigate. He ventured to the opening of the corridor, and looked down the length of it. The lights seemed to be brighter than the small, dim torches in the rest of the sewer, so he decided to progress through this corridor in search of answers. After walking for what seemed to be an eternity, he found the corridor opening up into a vast room, the end of which was nowhere in sight. The room was truly immense, and not even the ceiling was visible. He did notice, however, that in the center (at least of what he could see) of the room was a very large, barred gate. The entrance of the gate was held shut by nothing more than a piece of paper, with the word Seal on it. The boy grew curious, and ventured closer to the cage.

He saw something moving behind the bars, and out of reflex, jumped to the side as a giant head sprinted at the cage, fierce red hair covering this immense animal's body, and blood red eyes glaring down at the small boy. A claw came flying through the bars, trapping the small boy between two of the enormous nails. The boy trembled in fear, as the beast spoke, "**Well, well, well. It looks like I get to eat tonight after all. You were foolish to come here, boy, as this will be your doom!**" The giant creature attempted to make true his threat, as a giant tail came flying from behind him and straight at the small child. The child closed his eyes in fear, before the tail connected, and did absolutely nothing. After several minutes, the boy opened his eyes curiously. What he saw truly amazed him. Standing before him, was the Fourth Hokage, the man he looked up to for everything. The blonde haired adult simply shoved the beast back in its cage, before taking a look at the small child, and vanishing instantaneously, with not a trace left of him. He looked back at the cage, as the creature began to fume about his spoiled attempt at a kill. "**Damn you Fourth! Six years in this hell already and you deny me the thrill of a kill even through death! Damn you, and this cursed seal of yours, back to the hell from whence I came! As for you,**" the animal turned its attention back to the child, "**seeing as I cannot kill you, yet, I might as well try to make our lives at least somewhat more endurable. I know you have many questions, and to be honest, I don't give a damn. I may, or may not, answer them later, if I feel like it. But for now, be happy that I am going to give you a gift. I will give you the power to protect yourself, at least from minor threats, such as those annoying insects you call villagers. Consider this your one, and only, birthday present. Take this gift and remember the fear I caused you this night, the fear instilled into you by the Kyuubi.**" The boy didn't have a chance to ask his onslaught of questions, as an eerie red substance began to seep out of the cage, seemingly coming from this being now identified as the Kyuubi. The vile red substance surrounded the boy, and he screamed in agony as it seeped into his body, knocking him out into the bliss he sought earlier, as his body was forever changed.


	2. The Fangirls' Fight

**Seven Years Later**

A bell rang as class was called to session. A Chuunin walked in, apparently the teacher. The class quieted down, even the two girls fighting over the class prodigy. The man cleared his throat, getting the attention of the sleepers, and began the day's lectures. "Alright, everyone, as you know, tomorrow is the Genin Exam. You will all be tested on the three jutsu me and Mizuki-san have been teaching you this year, the Bunshin, Replacement, and Transformation. However, this year, the Hokage has called for a Taijutsu tournament, as well. Don't worry, you don't have to win the entire tournament to pass. I will explain it all tomorrow, but seeing as none of you were prepared for this, we will be using today to both practice the academy jutsu, and have taijutsu sparing matches. With that said, please follow Mizuki-san out to the courtyard." The class got up from their seats and followed their gray-haired sensei.

The other teacher waited at his desk for one of his students to pass by, and he called out to him, "Naruto, wait a moment." The boy perked up at his name being called, and walked away from the doorway to his teacher's desk. One of his classmates decided to mess with him.

"Ooooh, Naruto's in trouble! Show him what's what, Iruka-sensei!" Said a brash young man with a dog in his jacket.

The aforementioned sensei just sighed, "That's enough, Kiba, go out to the courtyard with the rest of your class." Kiba just smirked and did as he was told. Iruka turned back to Naruto, and took on a worried expression, "I heard about what happened last night, are you alright?" Sincere concern was evident in the scarred Chuunin's voice.

"You know me, Iruka-sensei, I'm fine. I've been fine for years now, so stop worrying every time you hear something about me." Naruto's calm voice soothed Iruka's concerns, although only slightly. But the Chuunin teacher decided it was best not to push the issue, as Naruto was hard to get to if he was annoyed.

"Alright, if you say so Naruto. But, there is another reason I needed to talk to you. It's about your participation in the tournament tomorrow. Due to reasons you and I are both aware of, but the class is not, I'm asking you not to use _that_ during the course of the tournament, can you do that for me? It will save both of us a lot of trouble, and.." Iruka was cut off, as Naruto finished his sentence for him.

"Deception is a key tactic for shinobi, if my own classmates don't know what I'm already capable of, no enemy will either. Underestimating an opponent is deadly, isn't that what you've tried to drill into our skulls for two years now, Iruka-sensei?" Naruto asked.

"Yes, yes it is. You seem to be the one best grasping that concept, though, Naruto. I'm glad." Iruka was, indeed, happy at his student's progress. Hell, he'd even say he was prouder of Naruto than any of his other students, not that his other students weren't good. He was just proud of how Naruto dealt with his problems. He used to be known for brash comments, often dim-witted comebacks, and prone to fighting. He got over all of that, and his hobby of pranking anyone and everyone, in the most amazing way. If someone had told Iruka that Naruto would be one of his best, and smartest, students by the time he came to graduate, Iruka would have sent them to the insane asylum.

Naruto didn't say anything else, and proceeded to walk out to the courtyard. Iruka stared at where he had been standing for a few more moments, before he too walked out to the courtyard. He decided today he wanted to try to teach the fangirls of his class a lesson, and he had the feeling that Naruto would be only too happy to help.

The class was assembled around Mizuki when Iruka finally made it outside. Mizuki was just finishing going over the rules for the spars that were to take place, when Iruka walked up to him and whispered in his ear. Mizuki looked unbelieving at first, but as Iruka continued to whisper, Mizuki's frown of confusion turned into a smirk of what could be called glee as Iruka pulled his head back and turned to the crowd of gathered academy students. Mizuki continued to smirk for a few moments, before he cleared his throat, and finished his instructions to his students, "Alright, it seems that Iruka would like the spars to be done one at a time, on a one-on-one basis. However, before that, he has decided on a three-on-one fight, with the attendees to be decided. This fight will be to test the teamwork of the three versus the defensive and strategic capabilities of the one. Remember, once you make Genin you will be on a squad with other shinobi, and you will need to be able and willing to work _with_ them. However, you must also factor in times when you and your team may get separated. Alright, Iruka has everyone's names in a bowl over there," Mizuki motioned to Iruka who was holding a small bowl filled with folded up pieces of paper, "and he will draw four names and arrange them randomly to determine the four contestants of this battle. Iruka?"

Mizuki gave Iruka the signal, and the scarred chuunin dipped his hand in the bowl, and dropped a piece of paper on the ground. He repeated this process four more times, and called a student over to randomly arrange the names. Once the student retreated back into the group, he pushed three names together with his foot, and the other name off to the side. He called Kiba over to read off the names. "Alright, let's see here, first one is: Ino. On Ino's team is: Sakura." The class, as a whole, visibly paled as the two named kunoichi made eye contact. "And their last teammate is… Sasuke." The class quickly retreated, leaving the three named in a very awkward situation. Sasuke was brooding more than usual, and even Iruka was slightly disturbed by the glare on his face. Ino and Sakura were fighting between emotions of rage and pure joy, switching between glaring at the other girl and staring, love-eyed, at Sasuke. Kiba cleared his throat, and got everyone's attention back on him, "And their opponent is… Naruto?"

The crowd was silent as Mizuki performed a series of handsigns, and slammed his hand on the ground. A large poof of smoke obstructed the students' view of what had been done, but once it cleared, a large, square ring had risen from the ground. Naruto wasted no time in hopping into the ring, and walking to the far side, getting into a defensive pose. Sasuke followed suit, and growled in frustration as several minutes passed without his teammates getting into the ring. Iruka decided to get their attention, "Ino, Sakura, would you two please get in the ring, so that the match can begin? This _is_ a rather important demonstration, you know." The two girls finally snapped out of their glaring contest, and jumped into the ring simultaneously, one on either side of Sasuke.

Iruka, too, hopped into the ring. "Alright, the rules for this match, and for all sparing matches, are as follows. There will be no ninjutsu, save Replacement, allowed. Kunai may only be used as melee weapons, no throwing. And, of course, no lethal force is to be allowed. The match will be over if one of three things happens: all the members of a team are incapacitated, I call the match if it is far too one-sided, or all the members of a team are knocked out of the ring. There will be no time limit for this match. You may begin… NOW!"

Sasuke wasted no time, ditching his two teammates in favor of charging in to attack Naruto. Naruto stood his ground, before jumping right over Sasuke, dodging his fist in the process. Sasuke whirled around as he saw Naruto pull a kunai while heading straight for Sakura. Sasuke cursed under his breath, and used the biggest burst of speed he could muster to grab Sakura and get her out of the way. He succeeded, but, in doing so, he was unable to dodge Naruto's kunai, which Naruto aimed away from his throat, and into his shoulder. Sasuke cursed audibly this time, as Naruto jumped back to his starting place. Sakura and Ino were furious, they charged in with blind rage, not even thinking that their teammate may need help. The two put aside their eternal struggle for just this moment, as for them, the only thing that mattered was destroying Naruto as an act of vengeance.

The two moved in a harmony that deeply surprised both Mizuki and Iruka. Naruto, however, was unfazed, easily dodging and weaving through the two kunoichi as they spun each other to try to get an opening to slice Naruto with their kunai. As Ino went for a slash at Naruto's torso, the male blonde sidestepped her, and her kunai plunged into Sasuke's other shoulder, Sasuke having regained his composure and returned to the offensive while he thought Naruto's guard was down. Sakura failed to notice this, as she tried to leg sweep Naruto, who jumped over it, causing her to sweep Ino off her legs, dragging her kunai down Sasuke's torso a small ways before her grip faltered. Sakura gazed at her bleeding Sasuke-kun with horror, and failed to notice Naruto behind her. She 'eep'd as she felt his hand strike her neck, before she was out cold. Ino stood up quickly in an attempt to retaliate, but Naruto weaved under her kunai thrust, and struck her in her ribcage, causing her to fall to her knees momentarily. This was the only moment Naruto needed, as he delivered a chop to Ino's neck, too.

Naruto wasn't able to take a breather, or regain his composure, however, as Sasuke had recovered, and dug his own kunai into Naruto's back. Iruka looked on in horror as Naruto fell to the ground.


	3. Enter Jiraiya

**Chapter Three: Enter Jiraiya**

Poof!

What had seemingly been Naruto's corpse vanished in a puff of smoke, leaving a slashed log in its place. Sasuke looked alarmed, and whirled around just in time to see Naruto's fist collide with his face. Sasuke flew back, with a slight spin about him, and right over the ropes of the ring. Naruto returned to his defensive pose for just a moment, before straightening himself out and standing tall. He sighed in a seemingly bored tone, "Seriously, Sasuke? You fell for a delayed-release Replacement? Honestly, with all your Uchiha boasting, that was rather pathetic, even with your less-than-helpful teammates. I'm disappointed. I hope you bring a better challenge for the real deal tomorrow." Naruto proceeded to walk over to the two unconscious kunoichi, while Sasuke stormed off to take his anger and frustration out on a poor training dummy. He approached Ino first, as she was generally less liable to hit him than Sakura was. He gave her a slight shake, and that seemed to do the trick, as her eyes opened slowly, giving her the sight of a bored, unscathed Naruto. She took in her surroundings before realizing she had been beaten by Naruto, the boy she utterly despised for his rivalry with Sasuke. She muttered something about blonde betrayal and 'Sasuke-kun going too easy' while she walked off of the ring. Naruto sighed and decided he should wake Sakura up as well, seeing how everyone else seemed to be getting over his delayed-release Replacement still.

Naruto decided to be more cautious with Sakura, and opted to grab a stick that was lying just outside the ring to prod her with. He first tried poking her in the shoulder. Nothing. Next he tried her stomach. Slight wincing, but still unconscious. He decided to throw caution away and poked her in the forehead. Surprisingly, she just brushed the stick away after a few pokes, but was still unconscious. He sighed deeply before uttering a short prayer and poking her in the chest. This time the reaction was significant. Her eyes flew open, and after a few seconds of taking in the situation, Naruto was sent spiraling away, and slammed into the walls of the academy. Sakura was obviously furious, and wasted no time in chasing down the blonde as he fell from the indent his impact had created in the wall. Luckily, before she could continue her rampage, Iruka had come to his senses and intervened, dragging her away to cool off. Naruto decided that he was in the clear for now, and opted to go speak with Sasuke, whether the Uchiha wanted to or not being irrelevant.

* * *

Naruto had searched all over the academy's training grounds, and had still not found Sasuke. He groaned in frustration and opted to get help from his tenant. "_Kyuubi-san, I am in need of your assistance. Can you help me find Sasuke-teme? I need to knock a bit of sense into him._"

"**Ah, the Uchiha survivor. Is he brooding over you beating him again?**" The Kyuubi chuckled as it thought back to the times Naruto had beaten the Uchiha, and how the Uchiha had always sulked and brooded about it each and every time.

"_Well, not exactly. I did beat him again, but he was being hindered by his fangirls as teammates. I'm pretty sure Iruka fixed the match so that I would fight the three of them, and I'm pretty sure I know why. I think Sasuke needs to hear that, and coming from me, it should hold a bit more weight than it would coming from Iruka or Mizuki._" Naruto calmly explained himself to his tenant while keeping an eye out for Sasuke.

"**I see… Very well, give me control of your senses, and we shall find the sulking Uchiha.**" Kyuubi said emotionlessly.

"_Thank you, Kyuub-san._" Naruto said, as he began to free himself from the confines of his mind controlling his body. He felt the familiar presence of the Kyuubi rush past his consciousness, before he was pulled back to watch as the Kyuubi controlled his body.

* * *

Ino had been following Naruto for some time now, after seeing Sakura let out her anger on him, she noticed he had other things on his mind, and decided that, for Sasuke-kun's safety, she should follow him. She was confused when he stopped after searching the academy grounds several times, and that confusion turned into shock when she saw him enter what she'd only describe as a meditative state. That shock, however, was soon replaced with a strong fear, as she noticed Naruto's eyes turn blood red, and his whiskers deepened. She even noticed his fingernails grow, into almost claw-like length and sharpness. Although she would never admit it to anyone, not even herself, after that day. Ino had been worried about Naruto, and had almost finished performing her family's Mind Transfer justu when Naruto vanished. She frantically scanned around her, and saw a glimmer on a far away rooftop, that she could've sworn was him, if she didn't know better. She knew where that glimmer had been. It had been almost two miles away from the academy, and she had noticed it only a split second after Naruto had vanished.

There was no way Naruto could ever be that fast, she reasoned.

* * *

Naruto landed behind Sasuke, who had been sending fireballs out over a small lake. Sasuke whirled around in an attack when he heard Naruto land only a few feet behind him. Naruto merely caught the kunai Sasuke had pulled in between his fingers, although he cut his fingers open in the process. Sasuke was stunned, not only at the fact that it was Naruto who had snuck up on him, but the fact that he had caught his kunai uppercut as well.

Naruto didn't make any acknowledgement that he was in pain from the cuts his fingers had sustained. Naruto merely pulled his hand away from the kunai, and Sasuke's arm fell limp to his side. Naruto sighed in annoyance, "You're supposed to be one of the best in our class, and yet, when I appear before you, you first assume I'm an enemy, and swing into an attack. However, upon seeing me, and not some strange enemy ninja, you drop your guard, and fall limp into shock. Is that how you really think a shinobi should act on the battlefield?" Naruto's voice was firm and calm, but you could still tell he was annoyed at Sasuke's loss of battle readiness. "Regardless, I did not come here to berate you more; I came to explain something about our fight today. You should have known, I mean Mizuki freaking explained it mere minutes before we started, that your objective was to display _teamwork_. I know you didn't like your teammates, but who's to say you will like the teammates you get, if you pass the Genin Exam, that is. Listen, Sasuke, I know you may not like me, and I can't say I'm fond of you either, but we do have something in common, and we have that in common with everyone else in our class: We are going to be shinobi. We are going to be protecting our village. We need to look out for each other, and right now, you're not. You're too caught up in your own hatred to realize that you're putting true shinobi teachings to waste and being too concentrated on proving you're the best, when, the fact is, you're not." Sasuke growled in anger at that. "Hey, I'm not saying I'm the best either, but I know my own strength. And I know that even the strongest ninja can have their strength and usefulness in battle magnified tenfold by having a good team that he works well with. Please, just think about what I'm telling you. And, for the love of Kami, pay more attention in your battles! Your biggest battle flaw is that you let your guard down when your opponent goes to the ground. Granted, that's a common flaw for shinobi, but if you want to be as good as I know you want to, you need to overcome that flaw." Naruto finished his speech in a more kind-hearted tone, but he didn't want to sugarcoat what he was telling Sasuke. Sasuke may not like it, but even he acknowledged that Naruto was better than he was. And he had a nagging suspicion that Naruto had more experience than most people thought.

Sasuke, for once in his life, decided against brooding in anger. He straightened himself up, and composed himself for something he considered humiliating. "Thank you, Naruto. This isn't easy to say, but… That helps, I don't know why, but… It does. Something about you… Something in your eyes… It just reminds me of the suffering my brother caused me, but… It's not a bad reminder… It's like… It's like I can see that you know what kind of suffering I've been through, and that, well, makes what you're saying actually meaningful to me…" Sasuke, despite what his nature normally told him to do, actually smiled. However, after a few moments, that smile vanished into a frown of anger, "But if you tell ANYONE this, I swear to Kami, I will kick your ass from here to Iwa and back!"

Naruto just laughed off the threat, "Sure you would, assuming you could catch my ass."

* * *

Naruto and Sasuke returned to the academy, just in time to head in with the rest of their class. The rest of their school day was spent in review of surviving on missions, and basic ninja skills. When the bell rang, the class filed out of the door, except for Naruto and Kiba, who opted for jumping out the window to avoid the crowded hallways.

Naruto decided he had plenty of time left in the day for some real training, so he decided to go look for a suitable training ground. He needed somewhere he could train his chakra control…

* * *

After searching for almost an hour, Naruto found a large lake that he decided would be perfect for practicing water walking. He was also pretty sure that no one would be able to find him, seeing as next to no one, aside from him, ever went atop the Hokage's Mountain. Naruto took off his jacket and shirt and began practicing. He was currently only able to stand on the water while he was submerged a few inches, just above his ankle. However, he allowed himself to submerge in an instant when he felt a presence of extreme power, comparable to the Hokage's, approaching him. He could not recognize this power, and so he decided it would be better to be safe, and out of breath, than sorry and dead. He found a fish swimming nearby, and decided it might be a good idea to transform into something that would believably be living in this kind of lake.

"Hmmm… Where'd that squirt go…? Sarutobi-sensei said he came here to train relatively often. I wonder…" The man's voice rang out over the lake, and reached Naruto with its clarity intact.

Naruto felt the presence disappear without a trace, and sighed in relief as he allowed himself to release his transformation, and shot out of the lake. He landed on his feet, and decided he should dry off before continuing his training. That is, until he felt a kunai on his neck. He grimaced as he awaited the killing blow. Strangely, this strange, powerful man did not deliver. He merely laughed and pulled the kunai away.

Naruto seized this as his opportunity to strike back, and kicked the man in the gut as he spun around to use his own kunai on the man's neck. To his surprise, when he connected, the man just looked at him stunned, before he poof'd away, leaving only a small smoke cloud behind. Naruto wasted no time in ducking from a fist, but the man was way too fast for him, and his other fist connected to his back, launching him from his grounded position back into the lake. Naruto surfaced just in time to see the man stroll out onto the lake, with no effort present on the man's face.

"W-Who are you? Why are you in our village?" Naruto instantly worried about this man being an assassin sent for the Hokage, or something along those lines.

The man just chuckled, "Ah, quit worrying, squirt. I'm actually _from_ this village, baka! Don't tell me you've never heard of Jiraiya, the Toad Sage?" Naruto just continued to stare, recognition clearly absent. "Oh, come on! Student of the Third?" Naruto just shook his head. "Author of the Icha Icha series?!" Again, Naruto shook his head. "The Fourth's teacher?!" Naruto's eyes lit up for a moment, but he still shook his head. The man, now identified as Jiraiya, growled in frustration, "What happened to my reputation?! Have I really been out of the village so often that people have forgotten me entirely? Well, I'll make damn sure you remember who I am, squirt!" Jiraiya bit his thumb and smeared some of the leaking blood onto his palm before he began a series of handsigns. Naruto was instantly back on the defensive, and he leaped back as far as he could, landing sloppily on the water, and sinking slightly. The man just laughed again as he finished his string of handsigns. He slammed his hand onto the ground, and yelled, "Summoning Jutsu!"

A large plume of smoke rose up, and covered whatever it was that the strange man had summoned. Naruto didn't want to wait to see what this creature was, or how it was going to fight. He tied a rather strong explosive tag onto the blade of one of his kunai, and fired it, along with a few decoys, into the cloud of smoke. He smirked as he heard some commotion in the cloud of smoke, and as the smoke coalesced into the rest of the air, he was, for lack of a better description, baffled at what he saw. The strange old man was in a very awkward pose, holding a few of the kunai in his fingers, the one with the explosive tag in his mouth, and one in the back of his knee, having bent his legs in a way that he could keep it held there. He was now atop a strange orange frog, which had also caught two of the kunai he had thrown, one in its mouth, and one in between its two front flippers. The two allies quickly dropped their caught kunai, and both proceeded to yell at Naruto.

"What the hell is wrong with you!? Do you know what animal cruelty is, kid! Why, I oughta…"

The strange orange frog's nasally voice shocked Naruto. "_Frogs can talk? Since when!?"_

"Yeah, what in the world possessed you to attack Gamasaichi(1)? He didn't do anything to you… Did he..?" Jiraiya's annoyed, and slightly confused, voice yelled at Naruto as well.

Naruto didn't waste time trying to figure out what was going on, "Well, forgive me, but… YOU JUST HAD YOUR KUNAI AT MY THROAT ABOUT TWELVE SECONDS AGO! Where I come from, that warrants ill intentions, at the very least. I was just prepared to defend myself!"

Jiraiya and his frog looked stunned. The frog decided to speak up before his summoner, "Baka! Jiraiya-sama didn't summon me to fight you! And now… I'm not supposed to… GAH! Forget this, I'm going home!" The frog was obviously pissed off, and very confused by the whole thing. After unsummoning itself, Jiraiya opened his mouth to speak, but he heard a crackling, and looked down to where he had dropped the kunai the brat had thrown. "_Oh shit! An exploding tag, but… How is it still active after it was in my mouth!? And why did this little shit put it on the blade!?_" Jiraiya had no time to figure it out, as he opted to leap away before the blade blew up. He landed behind a tree nearby, and watched as the strange, blue-inked tag burned itself up. The explosion was immense. He was secretly glad that he'd been extra cautious, and went for a sturdy, big tree. That explosion obviously shattered the rest of the kunai in the pile, and the fragments from them shot out in all directions.

After the sound of kunai impacting trees subsided, Jiraiya sighed in relief, before he realized, "_Wait… That kid was out on the water… Oh shit!_" True enough, the young blonde hadn't been fast enough to get to cover, and Jiraiya spotted him bleeding on the opposite bank of the lake. "Crap… Sensei is **not** gonna be happy about this…"

Sarutobi rushed into the hospital room, and spotted his student in one of the chairs. He wasted no time in yanking the (to him, anyway) youth out of the chair and glaring into his grimacing face, "What in the **hell** happened!? I send you to find Naruto and offer him some help in training, and you bring him back, not to me, but to the hospital! And what's worse, he's cut from head to toe, and from what the nurses are telling me, four of his arteries are severed?! How the **fuck** did a peaceful meeting turn into this much bloodshed!?" Even Sarutobi was surprised, he hadn't sworn like that in almost thirty years, but he was pissed. He knew that would send the message across to Jiraiya, and he was right.

"Sensei… I didn't mean for any of this to happen, I swear. When I got close enough to the boy, and let my chakra loose, he detected it and hid in the lake you told me about. I played a little trick on the kid, and once he resurfaced and went ashore, I appeared behind him with my kunai to his neck. He kicked my shadow clone, and dodged one of my fists. I sent him back into the lake, and thought that was that. I started to talk to the gaki-" Jiraiya noticed the glare the nickname he gave the kid brought him from Sarutobi, "er… the blondie… and was going to introduce myself, you know, in the standard way," Jiraiya smirked while Sarutobi's eyebrows twitched, obviously in frustration at his student's showboaty ways, "and before the kid could even see Gamasaichi, a hail of kunai flew at us. We caught 'em, sure, but once we dealt with them, Gamasaichi got pissed and left, and one of the kunai the kid threw had a strange explosive tag on it. I didn't take any chances, and jumped for cover. However, the kid was still standing on the lake. He wasn't able to make it to cover, and his own attack sent the shrapnel from all the kunai in all directions, and, as you can see, a fair bit of it hit him…" Jiraiya finished his recount, not skipping any details, he could tell this was not a time to be sly with the old Hokage.

Jiraiya noticed the curious look his sensei held, "Sensei?"

"Jiraiya, you and I both know you're far better at seals than I am, tell me, what did that explosive tag look like? Can you discern anything special about it?" Sarutobi's voice had lost its anger, and had taken on a reflective tone.

"Uh… Right… Well, it was your standard S-class explosive tag, complete with high quality mineral paper-" Jiraiya was cut off.

"WHAT!? How the hell did Naruto get a hold of something that dangerous, let alone have gall to use it inside the village!?" Sarutobi was not only pissed, he was shocked.

"Er, yeah… Well, anyway, that's not all. The seal was written in blue ink. And I don't mean the kid copied it down with his colored pencils, no, it was written in highly explosive blue ink. I can't say whether the kid did this himself, or if someone gave it to him. Either way, we should be the only two people in the country, let alone the village itself, that have enough knowledge to make that kind of seal." Jiraiya concluded his lecture with a stressed look. "Oh, and, sensei, can you let me go now?"

Sarutobi blinked in confusion, before he realized he was still holding Jiraiya several feet off the ground. He quickly let go, before connecting the dots, "I see… Either we have a **serious** breach in security, or Naruto is even more powerful than I knew. Even if it's the latter, where on earth could he have found the research material to get his skill in seals up to that level, let alone learn such a powerful seal? I think it's safe to assume it's the former, I shall begin the investigation at once. However, I doubt we'll turn up much until Naruto-kun is better. That brings me to the other reason I came down here… Since this is your fault, **you** get to pay his hospital bill."

Jiraiya groaned in frustration, but didn't say anything, so Sarutobi decided to ask about Naruto's condition, "So, have the doctor's said how long they think Naruto will need to recover?"

Jiraiya looked downcast at that, "Yeah… They said, even with his extreme healing—and I needed to ask you what they meant about that—he'd be in here for at least another day."

Sarutobi thought he was upset before, but now, he realized he'd have to deal with an absolutely furious Naruto. "He's going to miss the Genin Exam…"

* * *

(1): I don't pretend to know if Gamasaichi has a meaning on Japanese or not, I just made it up. If it does have a meaning, fine. Let me know in a pm, NOT in a review. That being said, hopefully this chapter is a little more to everyone's length liking.

R&R :D

~Darth


	4. An Alternate Test

**Chapter Four: An Alternate Test**

Sarutobi had been correct, Naruto was furious. "What?! You mean to tell me, that because YOU sent this old geezer" Jiraiya snorted in annoyance at that remark, "to find me, now I can't become a Genin until NEXT year?! How in the hell is that fair?! Why can't I just take it today?"

Sarutobi sighed, "I'm sorry Naruto, but, we can't make special cases like that. Students, or their parents, for that matter, may complain, saying you faked being hurt to have extra time to study or prepare, which gave you an advantage over other students in the test. I know full well you were out cold all of yesterday, but that won't cut it for angry parents. I will look into it, and if I find anything, I'll be sure to bring it to your attention immediately. Until then, I'm deeply sorry Naruto."

Naruto didn't respond, he just chose to grab his jacket and walk out of his hospital room. Jiraiya gave him a sorry glance, but Naruto ignored him completely. Jiraiya sighed as Naruto closed the door to his room, albeit rather forcefully. "Man, I never was good with kids. You think Naruto will even _go_ to the academy for _another_ year? I mean, he was already brilliant and well above the rest of his classmates, even if he didn't let his grades show it. I have a feeling that most of the students knew that as well, even though he did have the lowest grade in the entire class, taking the Exam out of the equation, that is. I, for one, know I couldn't stand being in that boring place for an extra year."

Sarutobi sighed once again, "Yes, well, at this point we have no other options, I'm afraid."

* * *

Naruto passed the academy on his way to his apartment building. He stopped to give it a glance, before sighing and beginning his trek once again, "_Best not to stick around, don't need any proud parents trying anything as a demonstration for this kids or something…_"

Before Naruto could quite make it off the grounds, however, he heard someone running up to him. He groaned in annoyance, until he heard Mizuki's voice, "Naruto! Hold up a moment!" Naruto turned around, and gave his sensei a questioning look. After a few moments, the gray haired teacher caught up to Naruto. "Why weren't you in class yesterday? You missed the exam, and as you know, we can't allow you to take it now."

Naruto looked down sadly, "I… I got hurt while training the other day. I was stuck in the hospital for all of yesterday. I guess I'll see you next year, too, eh?"

Mizuki mentally grimaced, "_No way, no way in __**hell**__ am I gonna risk my safety by being around the Kyuubi for a whole 'nother year… I know! I can use this brat to get what I want, and make sure he's out of both mine and the village's hair from now on. Hah! Orochimaru-sama will be so proud!_" "Well, actually, there is an alternate test you can take, as opposed to the written and practical we normally distribute."

Naruto instantly perked up, "Really? How come you never told us about this during class?" Naruto may have been excited, but he was still confused as to why this had never come up.

Mizuki thought fast, "Oh, well that's because this test tends to be both much harder, and a fair amount of danger is involved. We decided that only students who already missed the exam should be told about this exam, as we don't want students getting too cocky and then getting hurt during this alternate exam." "_Phew, forgot how clever this kid can be at times._"

Naruto seemed to think it over momentarily, "Oh, well, I suppose that makes a fair amount of sense. So, what is this alternate exam, Mizuki-sensei?"

Mizuki smiled, "It's actually quite simple, Naruto. All you have to do, is break into the Hokage's vault and steal the Forbidden Scroll. Once you do that, you need to escape into the forest and learn one of the jutsus off the scroll before ANBU finds you. If ANBU, or any ninja, for that matter, finds you before you can completely learn the jutsu, you will fail. The purpose of this test is to test both your ability to learn new ninjutsu and your ability to infiltrate, observe, and retrieve. However, be aware, not all the ninja in Konoha will be in on this, so some may come at you will real force. _That_ is why this test is a fairly dangerous one, and why it is kept quiet."

Naruto looked thrilled at the challenge this test would offer him. "Alright! This sounds like a much better test than the regular one, anyway! I'll… Wait…" Mizuki tensed, "I'm not gonna tell you what I'm going to plan, you'll be trying to catch me!"

Mizuki mentally sighed in relief, before chuckling, "No, no, Naruto. I won't be in on chase, I will meet you in the forest at an area I have marked on this map." Mizuki pulled out a rolled up map and handed it to Naruto, "I neglected to mention that there is also a time limit of three hours after darkness falls for you to complete this test. I will meet up with you once your time is up, and if you cannot prove to me that you have learned one jutsu from the scroll, you will still fail, even if no one catches you."

Naruto grimaced at the extra rule Mizuki had added into the test, but shrugged it off. "Alright, I can still do this, I'll see you three hours after dark, Mizuki-sensei."

Mizuki merely smiled and nodded, "_That was just too easy! And I thought foxes were supposed to be clever?_"

* * *

Dusk had fallen over Konoha, and Naruto was preparing to make his move. "_Just a few more minutes… Once that sun is down, that scroll is mine!_" Naruto was currently hiding on a rooftop just across from the building that housed the Hokage's vault. Naruto had been here since just after meeting up with Mizuki. Aside from packing gear for the test, Naruto had spent his evening watching the guards. He took note of the paths they took, how often they changed, and the two blind spots the guards had. He knew that the guards would be changing just before darkness fell, as he had heard two guards conversing during a pass by each other, saying that the new night guards would be posted through the entire night, since they had special eyes that gave them better night sight than most shinobi.

The sun finally dipped below the Hokage Mountain, just as the guards had finished their changeover. Naruto waited just a few more moments, as he allowed a guard to pass by, before he leapt down, and hid in the first blind spot he had found. He made sure to make not a single sound, as he silently followed the guard around the building, to the front door. It was here he took advantage of the second blind spot, one from which neither guard could see him. He waited until the two guards had come to the front of the building, before initiating his distraction.

He threw a kunai with an exploding tag into a nearby tree, and then performed the Clone jutsu. His two clones quickly ran over to the tree that was about to explode, and one transformed into a small girl. The two then made themselves visible to the two guards, who spotted the burning tag in the tree. The guards mistook the two clones as real children, and leapt into action. Once they had moved, Naruto had snuck into the building, opening the door just as the explosion racked the area.

* * *

The two guards caught up with the two small children in moments time, however, the children quickly ran off into the forest, just as the tag went off. The two ninja braced themselves, as the tag exploded. They released their held breathes as the explosion subsided. They frantically searched for the two small children, and after a few minutes of searching, they saw the two children off running around a tree, completely unharmed, and safely away from the explosion. The two men sighed in relief, until they heard it. The alarm had been sounded, the very alarm they were supposed to prevent going off. The two men quickly went through identical series of handsigns, and shouted, "Byakugan!"

* * *

Naruto had found his way to the vault in no time at all. He quickly disarmed the traps, and broke the seal that held the vault shut. He wasted no time in darting in to find the scroll. He didn't even have to search, as the scroll was the only thing in the vault. He grabbed it, through the strap over his head, and slung it over his back. He quickly got out of the vault, and sealed it back up. Then, he got an idea, "_Well, if one distraction is good, a second distraction is even better, right?_" Naruto found a vase that was on display in a hallway, and noted the security seal underneath it. He smirked, and took the vase off the stand, and hid it in his backpack. He darted out the door just as the alarm began to go off.

* * *

The two guards scanned the building, and smirked as they saw the thief leap away from the front door. One of the guards gave a signal to the other, who nodded and began to give pursuit, following the chakra signature of the vase, due to the other seal which had been triggered when it was removed. The second guard returned to his post, and contacted ANBU.

* * *

Naruto knew he was being pursued. He also knew why. What his pursuer didn't know, however, was that he was just about to be put on a wild goose chase. Naruto dropped to the forest floor, right next to a rabbit. Naruto pulled the vase out of his backpack, and peeled the other security seal off the bottom of the vase. He reapplied it to the rabbit, and gave it a small smack. The rabbit wasted no time in bolting off in the other direction, while Naruto just put the vase down and proceeded to sit down and wait.

Naruto noticed his pursuer's chakra signature getting close, and decided to put his little act together. He picked up the vase, and stood up, pretending to be examining it curiously. He feigned shock as the guard burst through the treeline and landed right in front of him, katana drawn, and put at Naruto's neck. "W-What are you d-doing?! What did I do?" Naruto played the role of a scared young boy flawlessly.

The guard fell for it, hook, line, and sinker: "Where is the person who left that vase here?" His tone was unforgiving, typical Hyuuga.

Naruto acted as if he was trying to recover, "Uh… Oh! That guy who jumped through here a few minutes ago, and didn't notice this vase falling out? He went that way." Naruto pointed in the direction the rabbit had run off, and smiled innocently as he handed the vase to the Hyuuga guard. The guard nodded to him, and darted off in the direction Naruto had specified, back on the trail of, at least what he thought was, a fleeing thief who had gotten a tracking seal stuck on their clothes.

Naruto almost doubled over in laughter, before he checked his watch, "Oh, crap! I have an hour and a half left to learn a jutsu from this scroll. Speaking of which, did that guy seriously not notice I, a supposedly innocent bystander, was carrying a giant scroll labeled, 'Forbidden Scroll – Property of the Hokage'? This is pathetic!"

* * *

Naruto wasted no time in more belittling, and quickly made his way to the meeting area. He took the scroll off his back, and slowly unrolled it. "Let's see here… First jutsu is… The Shadow Clone. Hmm…" Naruto gave the jutsu a quick read through, and plastered a giant grin on his face, "Awesome. Truly. Awesome. This should make training _so_ much faster. Chakra reserves one, chakra control forty-seven."

Naruto performed the necessary handsign, and molded the specified chakra amount for the desired number of clones. He called out, "Shadow Clone Jutsu!" And low and behold, fifteen clones surrounded him, staring straight at him, as if he was surrounded by mirrors. He smirked in satisfaction, "Now then, I wonder… Can you guys clone yourselves with the extra chakra I gave you?"

* * *

Naruto glanced at his watch once more, "_Hmm… Forty-five minutes left. I wonder if ANBU realized the scroll is missing yet?_" Naruto decided he had enough time to check out another jutsu from the scroll, while he had his clones disguise themselves in case ANBU showed up. "Hmm… Where's the next one… Ah, here it is: Exploding Shadow Clone… Wow, this one looks like a more battle-ready version of the Shadow Clone. Let's see, these clones retain experience too, but they tend to last shorter durations. I'll have to test this, and see if they'll make nice decoy scouts. Let's see here.. Ah, the handsign is the same, that'll be nice for deception. Now th-" Naruto didn't have time to finish his thought, as he quickly rolled the scroll back up while leaping to the side to avoid a large volley of kunai knives. He tossed one of his own kunai at the ANBU who had just shown up. "So, I see you guys did find out, I suppose that means I failed the test, then, eh?" Naruto was perplexed as the ANBU unsheathed his katana and charged, "_What… Why would an ANBU be out of the loop for something like this test. Something doesn't add up here… Shit!_" Naruto tried to dodge the ANBU's lunge, but was pinned to the ground from behind from another ANBU who he hadn't even sensed. He cursed loudly, as the ANBU prepared to make the killing blow. He plunged his sword into Naruto's chest, and smirked as he claimed victory, "Tch, this is insulting. You couldn't even finish your Replacement! How the hell you managed to steal this is mind boggling. I'm actually insulting myself by killing someone so wea-" The ANBU was cut off as the boy he thought he just killed glowed brightly, "Shit!" The two ANBU just barely managed to leap away, getting out of the kill zone of the blast, but both were still seriously injured. The two men lay unconscious at the feet of two burning trees. However, the blast had alerted other nearby ANBU, and in an instant, They were swarming the place. Naruto had a plan, though.

The ANBU looked over to where the blast had reached a tree, and cut it in half. They saw motion behind it, and tensed as they saw a figure being to walk out from behind it. They drew their weapons as he raised his visible arm. However, they let their guard down, slightly, as they saw Naruto limp out from behind the tree, one of his arms missing, and his pants melted to his skin. The leader of the ANBU squad, wearing a Captain's mask, spoke up, "Naruto Uzumaki, you stand charged with high treason and theft. Considering your condition, you would be advised to surrender and come peacefully, or we will not hesitate to kill if we cannot capture."

Naruto smirked, "Well, you are a little more professional than your friend over there." Naruto motioned to the ANBU who had insulted him earlier, who now had a burnt up face. Naruto put his remaining arm straight up in the air, as a sign of surrender, and slowly limped over to the group of ANBU. One of them produced a pair of handcuffs, and Naruto spoke up as the would-be jailor approached, "However, Captain, there is one thing you forgot about…"

The captain didn't show any surprise, and his voice didn't betray anything either, only a mild amusement, "Oh? And, pray tell, what might that be?"

Naruto smirked, "Oh, nothing much. It's just that, well, I'm not Naruto. _He_ is." The captain whirled around as a presence leapt at him, however, he whirled right back around after blocking the new Naruto's kick, as the one who had just spoken had just emitted a loud humming sound. His hidden eyes widened in fear, as this Naruto was glowing brightly. However, when he felt a burning sensation coming from his hand, he looked back and saw that the Naruto he had blocked was glowing too. The assembled ANBU were about to leap to safety, when several of the rocks around them began to glow as well, before clouds of smoke filled the air, as the transformations were cancelled, and the clones revealed themselves. The ANBU had no time to escape, as a horrendous explosion rocked the clearing.

* * *

The scene that Iruka came upon was absolutely terrifying. He saw his favorite student up against ANBU. Konoha ANBU. And there were quite a lot of them… Both of them. He made haste in his Big Headed Jutsu, "EVERYBODY FREEZE!" Iruka nearly lost control of his jutsu when he saw one of the Naruto's transform into a block of ice. Iruka tried to remain calm, "ANBU-san, please stand down. I shall handle things from here." The ANBU, albeit begrudgingly, nodded, and vanished in swirls of leaves. "As for you, young man, WHAT IN THE BLUE HELLS ARE YOU DOING?! Fighting ANBU! Stealing the Forbidden Scroll! And HOW THE HELL ARE THERE SO MANY OF YOU!?"

"Heh, sorry about that, Iruka-sensei." Iruka nearly jumped out of his skin as he heard Naruto's voice behind him. He was further confused, however, as the rest of the Narutos disappeared in puffs of smoke. He turned around to face his student.

"What in the hell has gotten into you?! You've never done anything like this before!" Iruka's yelling had a hint of concern in it, likely emanating from his concern over what punishment the Hokage would deal to Naruto.

"Well… Mizuki-sensei said that there was an alternate test I could take in order to become a Genin. The test was to steal the Forbidden Scroll and learn a jusu from it before I got caught by ANBU or anyone. Unfortunately, ANBU found me before Mizuki did, so does that mean I fail..?" Naruto explained, and Iruka was saddened at Naruto's heartbroken tone.

Iruka didn't have time to respond, however, as Naruto fell forward, screaming in agony. Iruka looked mortified, Naruto's back was burnt to a crisp, and apparently moving over to greet Iruka had opened up several puncture wounds, undoubtedly sustained while fighting legions of ANBU. Iruka crouched down to Naruto, "Naruto, what happened? How did someone get you with a Fire jutsu, when you have _that_ power?!"

Naruto just coughed harshly before answering, "W-Well, you told me not to use that in the test, and since this was the test, albeit an alternate one, I figured I still wasn't allowed to… Use… It…" Naruto finally lost consciousness, the chakra exhaustion and wounds getting the better of him.


	5. The New Teams

**Chapter Five: Team Seven**

Naruto awoke in a hospital room. He groaned as he felt a slight soreness in his back still, "_Damn, that Dragonfire Jutsu that ANBU guy hit me sure was powerful… Kyuubi-sensei, what gives? Can't you heal this?_"

Kyuubi had been awakened from its slumber, and was justifiably angry at its powers being called into question first thing in its morning, "**Brat, that jutsu was far more powerful than you realized. And the fact that you were already near chakra exhaustion, including your use of mine, made it that much harder to heal. You ARE healed, but I never did say I would stop you from feeling the pain of your mistakes in battle. Think of it as payback for this stupid wakeup call. Now then, I'm going back to sleep, don't wake me unless you need REAL help.**"

Naruto just grumbled in annoyance, "_Lazy furball._"

"**I HEARD THAT!**" Kyuubi growled, and Naruto quickly ceased his griping, he knew what a pissed Kyuubi was like, and he really didn't need that on the day of…

Naruto glanced at the clock, "Oh shit! I'm half an hour late! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!" Naruto quickly got out of his hospital bed, changed into his normal orange clothing, and bolted out the window, just as a nurse came in.

The nurse just sighed, "Typical Naruto. Then again, I probably should've tried to tell him that clock is three hours ahead. Well, I'm sure he'll figure it out pretty quickly. I mean, it's not like he'll have a tardy sensei."

* * *

Naruto arrived in the classroom mere minutes after he departed from the hospital. Quite a feat, considering that they were across the village from one another. Naruto vaguely remembered the Hokage complaining to some old man about the logic of placing a hospital almost as far as possible from the Ninja Acadamy, where students would hurt themselves on an almost daily basis. He also thought he heard the old man say something under his breath that the Hokage didn't catch, but he put that aside when he realized there was no one else in the room.

"Shit! Where'd everyone go?" Naruto frantically searched the entire academy, and found not one teacher, and not one other student. He decided he needed to search for anyone he recognized from class, surely not every team could've gone too far from the academy, right?

* * *

**Two Hours Later**

Sakura was walking down the street toward the academy. She was giddy with the fact that she knew she would be the first one to class, same as ever. However, as she got nearer to the building, she started seeing a strange orange blur streaking back and forth around the building. She was truly perplexed until she realized where she recognized an orange blur from. She quickly got angry, "Who does that guy think he is? First, he shows me up by being first to get a team assignment, and second, here he is speeding around, probably breaking things, and paying no mind to anyone's safety. I'm gonna go give him a piece of my mind!" Then it dawned on her, "Wait… Why is Naruto here when he didn't even show up for the Exam..?" Several thoughts coursed through her mind, but she settled on the one that made her feel the best about herself, "Aha! He must be trying to get Iruka to pity him into passing, well, I won't let that stand!"

Sakura stormed up to where the blur seemed to always return, which was near the swingset. She waited, impatiently, for him to return once more. She almost fell over, however, when the orange blur revealed himself standing in front of her with an almost frantic face. "Sakura! Oh thank the Lord! What'd I miss? Who's team am I on? Where's everyone else?"

Sakura didn't bother with a verbal reply, instead she opted to slug him in the face. "Naruto-baka, what are you doing here? You didn't even show up for the Exam, let alone pass it. Stop trying to get Iruka to pass you out of pity, it won't work. And as for all your questions, can't you tell time? We're half an hour early, everyone else is probably still at home getting ready. Baka!"

Naruto just stood there blinking for several minutes. Then it all seemed to be processed by his brain, and he let out a sigh of relief, "Yes! I didn't miss it! That clock in the hospital must've been early… Damnit! There goes three valuable training hours. Son of a bitch!"

Sakura looked highly confused, "Wait, what? Why were you in the hospital, Naruto? You didn't even get hurt in our spar!"

Naruto instantly lost some of his joy, "Well, after our spar, and after a small chat with Sasuke, I went to train." Sakura nodded in understanding, "And, well… This old man came by. I sensed his chakra, of course, it was gigantic. It easily dwarfed the Hokage's, and that's no exaggeration." Sakura's eyes widened in fear.

"You didn't try to fight him, did you?! Oh, you did! You idiot, you just made the village a horribly powerful enemy! Baka! Baka! Baka!" Sakura's threats seemed to have no real affect on Naruto, however.

"As I was saying… I hid in the water, transformed into a local fish species, until I sensed him leave. Once I was fairly certain he was gone, I emerged from the water and went to the bank to dry off. That's when things got painful… Really painful. He came out of no where, with a kunai to my neck. However, he laughed and took it away after a few moments, and well… I'll cut the story short, as I don't want to bore you, I already have a bruise still healing from the last time I bored you with one of my stories, but, I'll cut to the chase. The old guy summoned something and I took no chances, I hurled some kunai at him, which he and his frog summon both caught. After a little talking, he and the frog dropped the kunai I threw into a pile, the frog vanished, and the old guy, who I found out was Jiraiya," Sakura nearly fainted at the mention of one of the Sannin, but Naruto gave her no chance to cut into his story, "realized that I had put a special exploding seal on one of the kunai. He took cover in time, but…" Naruto pulled off his shirt, disregarding Sakura's death glare and slight blush. However, she quickly got serious again, when she saw how many scars lined Naruto's chest. "The kunai with the tag was in nearly the middle of the stack, and when it went off, it went off with a BIG bang. The shrapnel found a good target in me…"

Sakura, despite her boastful hatred of Naruto, was still concerned, "How the hell are you standing?! Why the hell did you break out of the hospital!? You need to get back there and finish healing up, NOW!"

Sakura attempted to start dragging Naruto away, but he held his ground firmly, much to Sakura's surprise, "There's no need, Sakura. I'm almost entirely healed from the shrapnel, in fact, most of the wounds you see on me aren't from the shrapnel. In fact, I can count the scars I still have from the shrapnel on one hand. The wounds on me right now, however, are mostly from ANBU. Don't ask," Naruto said, cutting off her question before she could start it, "Long story short, it was part of an alternate test, albeit fake, by Mizuki. Mizuki had me steal the Forbidden Scroll for him, but ANBU caught him later that night when he was on the way to meet me to take it. I had to fight ANBU for almost an hour before Iruka showed up, and took control of the situation. Now I may boast and I know I'm good Sakura, but an hour against legions of ANBU is hard on anyone. I took some real hits in those fights, but I'm pretty sure the hospital will be filling up with ANBU any time now, I had to have knocked out at least three-hundred of them. Regardless, late last night, Iruka convinced the Hokage that that 'test' should have been proof enough, despite my academic grades, that I was more than ready to become a Genin, and I'm allowed to be here for team assignments today because of that."

Sakura was stunned into shock once again. She gazed on Naruto with eyes she had never used on him before, eyes of admiration. She merely smiled at him, and grabbed his hand. Naruto was confused as she lead him into the classroom, where they would continue to wait for their senseis.

* * *

The scene the first few students, after Naruto and Sakura, walked in on nearly made them fear for their own sanity. Naruto and Sakura were sitting next to each other. Laughing. And it appeared that Sakura was there _voluntarily_. Today was going to be an interesting day, that was almost certain.

That prediction was further strengthened when Sasuke walked in, smirking. However, that smirk was not the sinister one of superiority he normally wore. No, that smirk was one similar to a smile. It was probably as close to smiling as Sasuke could get in public. And that scared _everyone_.

Iruka walked in on a strange scene, as well. He was used to his students chatting, but this was something new entirely. Currently, three students were chatting together, while the rest of the class was looking at them strangely and whispering quietly. After several minutes of this, Iruka decided something serious was up. He decided he should stop the gossip before things got taken too far, he had students to protect through today, and protect them he would, even from things such as mindless gossip.

Iruka cast his famous 'Big Headed Jutsu' and proceeded to yell, "SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!" The effect was immediate. The gossip ceased entirely, Sakura looked scared stiff, Sasuke was smirking almost normally, and Naruto was at attention. The rest of the class seated themselves silently, and awaited further orders.

"Very good. You are all here today to find out which teams you will be placed on. You are here because you passed the initial Genin Exam. I say 'initial' because each of your senseis will have the right to, if they deem it necessary, test you further to prove you are worth their time. Do not forget that your senseis are Jounin, the elite ninja of the village. I can also say that some of them have been in ANBU, even as far as to say one was a Captain. They could be out performing high-danger, A-rank missions, but, instead, they have chosen to take on a team of worthy Genin. As such, they have the right to test you however they see fit, and also to punish you in any way they see fit for _any_ failures. Do not take these tests lightly, if you get one. I cannot say, even if I was allowed to, what tests may be given. So be ready for anything and everything. I can give you this hint, however: 'Look underneath the underneath.' " Iruka really hoped that hint would save anyone unfortunate enough to get the infamous Bell Test.

Once Iruka was satisfied that the class had taken the speech to heart, he decided he should get right down to it. "Alright, pay attention now, I am going to call out the theam's number, followed by the three genin that will be on it, and then the name of the jounin sensei. I will only say this once, so don't miss your team. Now then, the first five teams are still in circulation, as well as Team Nine, so we will not be making new teams for those numbers. Now then, Team Six will be: Akami Toyura, Shintsu Takuhima, and Gendo Madra, led by jounin Anko Mitarashi." A few of the genin gathered who knew of Anko's reputation flinched in fear for the new Team Six, while Iruka just smirked to himself before continuing, "Team Seven will consist of: Sakura Haruno, Sasuke Uchiha-" a large majority of the females in the classroom groaned in disappointment while Sakura, surprisingly, stayed rather calm, although you could tell that, without a shadow of a doubt, she was ecstatic, "and Naruto Uzumaki." The whispering of the class returned, tenfold, as it appeared that Sakura had gotten _happier_. The whispering continued to grow in volume, until the whole room was silenced by Naruto getting a high-five from Sasuke... Willingly. Iruka took this as a stroke of good luck, and continued, "Team Seven's jounin sensei will be Kakashi Hatake." To Iruka's surprise, no one recognized that name, "_These guys know of Anko but not Kakashi? What the hell kind of rumors has Anko been spreading to the genin _this _year?_" Iruka didn't hesitate to continue the listing of the teams, however, "Team Eight will consist of: Shino Aburame, Hinata Hyuuga, and Kiba Inuzuka. The jounin assigned to Team Eight is Kurenai Yuhi. As I said, Team Nine is still in circulation as genin. So Team Ten will be: Chouji Akimichi, Shikamaru Nara, and Ino Yamanaka. Your jounin sensei will be Asuma Sarutobi. As for the rest of you," Iruka said, motioning to the rest of the class, consisting of about ten other genin, "the Hokage has deemed it appropriate to send you into specialized divisions for both war- and peace-time duties as shinobi of the village. You are to report back here tomorrow at noon to receive individual senseis and instructions. That being said, you are free to go. However, for the twelve genin who have been assigned to Teams, you are to stay here and wait for your jounin instructors to arrive. They should be here shortly."

Iruka gave no time for questions, complaints, or concerns, he vanished as soon as he finished his sentence. Mere moments after Iruka disappeared, the genin who had been selected to come back tomorrow left quickly and quietly, most feeling like they had been selected as sub-par shinobi to those who got placed on Teams. As a small group of friends passed by, Naruto heard them whining about how it was unfair that he, who had gotten the lowest possible passing grades on all written test material, had gotten onto a Team, while they, some of the highest in the class at both written and practical skills, were left out. Naruto simply smirked, "_Idiots. They really don't understand what the Old Man is up to, do they?_ _Booksmarts my ass!_"

A few anxious minutes passed for the newly assembled Teams, who had grouped into there soon-to-be-squads. They began to mingle, and Naruto occasionally heard Chouji ruffle a bag of chips, much to Ino's disdain. Fifteen minutes passed, before two people walked into the room. The first wore the standard Konoha jounin outfit, while the other one wore wrappings around her entire body, over what appeared to be only a fishnet shirt and a red-sleeved shirt. The male, who wore the standard jounin outfit, spoke first, "I'm Asuma Sarutobi. Team Ten, please come with me, you have a test to take." The man now known as Asuma slowly walked out of the classroom, while his new students scrambled out of their seats as fast as possible, save Shikamaru, who merely walked over to the window, and jumped out, landing right next to Asuma.

The woman took her turn to speak, "I am Kurenai Yuhi. Will Team Eight please meet me at Training Ground Six in half an hour? I'll leave a map with directions on the desk." The woman, known as Kurenai now, walked over to the desk, and did as she said she would, placing a small rolled up map on the desk, before vanishing in a puff of smoke. The new Team Eight proceeded to walk over to the desk, retrieve the map, and head out the door. The six remaining genin in the room didn't pay any of this much attention, figuring their senseis would be here very soon now, and be totally normal like the two senseis they just met, if you can call it that.

* * *

An hour passed, and the two teams were starting to get annoyed. Sakura was the first one to speak up, "This is ridiculous, do they seriously expect us to wait here this long for our new senseis? Well, if we have to, then I'm going to make sure we get some entertainment out of their arrival." Sasuke and Naruto smirked, while Team Six watched silently in curiosity, and slight amusement, as Sakura set up a decently complex Genjutsu over the door to the classroom.

* * *

Half an hour later, four genin shot up out of their seats as snakes began pouring into the classroom. While those four latched into the ceiling of the classroom like scared cats, Naruto and Sasuke merely laughed. That is, until a few of the snakes began smelling the air with their tongues. They began to convulge on Naruto, in such quantities that even Sasuke jumped back. Naruto, however, didn't have the chance, as hundreds of snakes began leaping at him, preparing to bite him. Surprise registered on his face, and on Sasuke's too, when he saw some strange, nearly naked, purple haired woman burst through the window at speeds that must have been that of a jounin. Sasuke leapt down to his comrade's defense, pulling a kunai and staring down the new, strange lady. Anko gave a look of confusion as she tilted her head while looking at Sasuke, before she sighed in realization, "Whoah there, kiddo, I'm not the one who sent the snakes on a rampage after your tasty little friend over there. I don't know why, but something is making my snakes want to eat him. So, I kind of need to go save your teammate..." Anko made to leap over Sasuke and save the little blonde, but, to everyone's surprise, Naruto was still sitting in the desk, calm as could be, as strange black limbs formed from random spots on his body, striking the snakes between the eyes, apparently knocking them out harmlessly. Not one snake landed a touch on Naruto, who finally got up, and picked up a rather small snake from the ground, and stroking it softly over the head. The snake woke up, and at first hissed, baring its fangs, before it, for some strange reason, relaxed, and slithered up to Naruto's shoulders, where it coiled up peacefully. Anko laughed, seemingly in a defeated tone, as she rose her hand into a one-handed seal, and said, "Release!" Instantly, all of the snakes that were sprawled all over the classrom vanished in a puff of smoke that hung to the ground, while the snake on Naruto's shoulder merely smelled the air with its tongue, seemingly still asleep. Anko just smiled as she walked over to Naruto, "Heh, you seem to be good with animals, kid. Too bad you're not on my team, my snakes might actually let you live. Ah well, beggars can't be choosers, now can we?"

The genin designated to Team Six promptly fell off the ceiling when Anko implied that her snakes would kill them. Sakura stayed clinging to the ceiling, which Naruto found amusing. Sasuke just returned to his seat, while Anko pulled the small snake off Naruto's shoulder. Anko yelped in surprise when the snake bit her and tried to leap back onto Naruto's shoulder. Naruto just smiled at the snake, pet it on the head, and placed it on Anko's shoulder, where it again coiled up and went to sleep. Anko was dumbfounded, but shook it off as she remembered she had a team to kil-... er... train. Anko looked down at the three genin heaped on the floor where they had fallen, and just sighed in annoyance, "Okay, maggot sacks, Team Six meet me at Training Ground Fifty-Seven in twelve minutes. That's your test." Anko, unlike Kurenai, gave no directions, no instructions, no help. She just disappeared. Team Six got frantic.

"Oh crap! Where the hell is that?! How are we gonna get there in twelve minutes?! How-" Shintsu was cut off by Naruto.

"Relax. Training Ground Fifty-Seven is a two minute walk, for a civilian, from here. Its that forest behind the training field behind the Academy. Didn't you guys ever read that big sign with the red paint saying, "Warning: Training Ground Fifty-Seven. DO NOT ENTER."?" Naruto's impersonation of an annoying alarm system's voice when someone broke in make Sasuke laugh outright.

Team Six paled even more as they walked over to the door, before Akami remembered, "Wait! Remember what Sakura did to the door! Use the windows." Akami's teammates nodded, while Sakura, who had finally regained her ability to move and talk freely, dislodged herself from the ceiling and smirked.

Naruto decided he should make sure Team Six was aware of their time restraint, "Oh, by the way guys, you have-" Naruto checked his watch, "Seventy-four seconds to get there."

Team Six moved faster in that moment than they ever had in their entire lives, and faster than they likely ever would again until they made jounin.

* * *

Alright, well, there's the first glimpse of why I titled this story the way I did. I deeply apologize for the long time from the last update, schoolwork caught up with me rather fiercely, and I had almost no free time. Got the first half of this typed up, and couldn't finish it until today (psh, and they say Friday the 13th is unlucky!).

Anyway, hopefully the next update will be sooner, as I'm pretty far ahead in a few of my classes, so I should have more free time to write the next few chapters.

As always, Read and Review (Reviews are how I know people actually _read_ this, and don't actually misclick on it, or skim through the chapters looking for something specific (what that might be, I've no idea)).


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